DS&S Blog for Non-Readers

DICK AND JANE SENT AN E-MAIL TO DS&S TACTICAL.
THE PEOPLE WERE NICE THERE.
:)

THEY RECOMMENDED DICK BUY A PRESENT FOR JANE. JANE WAS HAPPY. DICK BOUGHT HER A BIG ZEUS MODULAR TACTICAL BLADE SYSTEM, AND USED A CREDIT CARD VIA PAYPAL, BECAUSE IT WAS SO EASY AND SAFE. JANE REALIZED DICK WAS A SERIOUS SUITOR.

AND SO, JANE ACCEPTED THE ZEUS MODULAR TACTICAL BLADE SYSTEM AND MARRIED DICK. DICK CAUTIONED JANE ABOUT RUNNING WITH A KNIFE IN HER HAND OR IN HER HEAD.

THE PEOPLE AT DS&S WERE HAPPY WITH DICK'S PURCHASE - AND PAID MONEY ON THEIR MORTGAGE WHICH MADE THEM EVEN HAPPIER.

THEN JANE WAS RECALLED TO ACTIVE DUTY. SHE FOUGHT WITH HONOR ALONGSIDE HER SISTERS AND BROTHERS. SHE STUCK HER KNIFE THROUGH A BAD GUY WITH A BAD ATTITUDE REDUCING HIS ATTITUDE AND THE THREAT AT THE SAME TIME.

BECAUSE IT WAS A DS&S ZEUS KNIFE, IT SLID INTO AND OUT OF THE TERRORIST WITHOUT EVEN A SUCKING SOUND. JANE'S FRIENDS WERE ALL IMPRESSED AND LEARNED HOW TO READ AND USE COMPUTERS SO THEY COULD ORDER A DS&S KNIFE.

JANE CALLED DICK VIA SAT PHONE AND TOLD HIM ALL ABOUT IT. DICK WAS GLAD THE ZEUS SYSTEM SAVED JANE'S LIFE. AND SO, MANY MORE KNIVES WERE ORDERED, HELPING THE NICE PEOPLE AT DS&S TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

DICK AND JANE ALSO LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, WHEN JANE CAME HOME FOLLOWING HER ASSIGNMENT. JANE IS NOW A CHIEF MASTER SERGEANT AND CAN KICK DICK'S ASS. BUT THAT"S ANOTHER STORY.

DICK RECOMMENDS YOU GET OFF THIS PAGE - AND ONTO THE WEBPAGE WHICH IS CALLED "KNIVES WE OFFER," WHERE YOU CAN ORDER AN ENTIRE ZEUS SYSTEM TOO. WE AT DS&S ARE PAYING DICK TO SAY THESE THINGS, BUT THAT"S OK. IT IS CALLED SMART MARKETING. IF WE WERE TO SOAK DICK WITH A GARDEN HOSE AND HOOK A CAR BATTERY TO DICK, THAT WOULD BE CALLED SOMETHING DIFFERENT. BUT DICK IS FINE. WE HAVEN"T EVEN THREATENED HIM WITH A BEATING< YET> HE IS COOPERATING.

WE ADMIT TO TAPING DICK TO A CHAIR IN INTERROGATION ROOM FIVE, AND INJECTING HIM WITH JOY JUICE TO MAKE HIM PLEASANT AND TALKATIVE, BUT THAT IS CALLED A MISUNDERSTANDING.

DICK JUST SAID - WHILE WE WERE PEELING HIM OUT OF THE CHAIR IN ROOM FIVE - TO TELL YOU THAT AT DS&S, WE MAKE GEAR FOR LEGENDS.

AND HE'S RIGHT. WE DO.

THE END.