Why not stop by for a visit? It would be our pleasure to show you around the facility. Just kidding. You're not getting anywhere near us, baby. Our business hours are:
Monday through Friday Noon to 5 p.m. Or 1 to 5 p.m. Or anytime we damn well want to wake up.
In fact, shut the hell up about our hours. Stop moaning and be glad we're here at all.
We have changed our business hours to serve you better.
Our doors are now figuratively open from Monday through Friday Noon to 5 p.m.
Then again, better make that 1 or 2 p.m.
Don't want to frighten the birds and get up too early - and don't want to work too late.
We might be busy for an hour or two pinching the heads off terrorists (you just have to prune those things or they'll take over the whole yard). If we're not pruning, we are getting coffee at Starbucks, or something more fun than talking to you.
If we really are in the hooch at Black Helicopter Headquarters, we probably won't answer the door - or we'll open it and let the Bulldog race you to the fence (bet he wins!)
Oh hell - just contact us, we'll probably respond if we're awake. Probably - then again, probably not. We have better stuff to do.
Leave us alone. Send us money. We'll make knives. Our troops kill bad guys until they are very, very dead with our knives.
Everybody wins!